Nothing new is cropping up in my boredom. At all. 

I am taking summer classes (college blows), and doing nothing other than that. Jobs are hard to come by these days, so I am tight for cash. My dreams of attending The College of Notre Dame have been scattered because my parents recently informed me that, whilst they will spare no expence to educate my brother who is one year my junior, that I will have to be paying for my own education, and thus I am going to either wind up at a state school, or saying "fuck it all" and entering the work force whilst trying to possibly educate myself in a trade school (Animation major?). 

Other than that, nothing new has happened. 

Life is dull.

Taa.

...and I can't sleep. Believe me, I've been eagarly trying since 2. I'm sitting at Mikee's computer chair, wearing a plaid flannel blanket my mother bought him for christmas and a smile. Well, more like a blank stare really. Transformers is on the television, my left ear itches like mad for some ungodly reason and Mikee's soft snoring is coming from the bed.

I'm uncomfortable for some reason, and I mildly feel like there is a tiny person inside my uterus punching me (there isn't, it just feels that way). My skin is dry and itchy from the fact that it is winter, my hair is greasy and needs to be washed, and Mikee's two younger siblings (Erik, 16 and Kelly, 15) will be up for school at any minute, so the odds of me sneaking in a warm shower before they destroy the hot water is slim. My nails are down to the nub from biting them and, for reason's I don't quite unerstand, I can't just close my eyes and let the wonderful feeling of sleep take me over.

I know the feeling, I'm just kind of procrastinating doing it.

I'm feeling creative.

I'm a selfish person, but at the same time I'm self-sacrificing. Does that make any sense? Probably not.

I should clarify; my thoughts are selfish, but my actions tend to be on the damaging-myself-for-others side. I'm not complaining, if I didn't like it I wouldn't do it. I like putting my friends before myself, and I do it 9/10 times. But, I put myself into these situations where I am the confidante, the referee, and, mostly, the psychologist. I don't mind so much, but now I'm getting to the situations where I start to question my good-friend-osity.

More often than not, I think I'm pretty good at giving advice, stopping conflicts, and peer-mediating. But, I have some peeves about it. I can't stand being hurled into an argument by one party to advise the second party, all while the first party refuses to even stop and think that they may have done anything wrong or refuses to even take my advice.

One of the rules I have set up for myself is "I am Sweden," meaning that I am neutral. I'll lend my advice and try to calm the waters, but the actual reconciling or deciding who was at fault is not my place (simply because it's not my problem). I'm a crusader of fighting your own battles, and I understand that sometimes on the battlefront of life you need someone's outside look before you can think of your next attack strategy. I try to provide that look.

However, that means both parties have to be willing to listen to me, not just agree with what I have to say to their opponent and go deaf when it comes to hearing their advice. It aggravates me to no ends when people are so stuck in their own shoes that they won't even think about trying on the other person's pair, even if it is just their size.

As of late, I've realized something. If you are actually happy with your life and existence, people will always try and bring you down. Mainly those people who aren't happy with their life. This became blatantly clear to me when, yesterday, a girl who for about four and a half years I was good friends with but decided I wasn't a decent enough human being to put up with, Julia Hubacheck, called me.

( The Story with Julia )

Now, that brings me to this next chapter in the never ending drama of Julia.

( Yesterday/Rant )

Anyway, I have tea on the kettle and a muffin that is calling to me~<3

Tea+Nutella=Happy Morning Jessi.

It snowed yesterday. I managed to actually be with Mikee for the first snow of the year, and it was gorgeous, straight out a novel. We sat, curled up in a blanket, watching the snow and drinking tea~<3 (well, I was drinking tea, he was drinking hot chocolate).

I hate winter, but I love moments like that. After that beloved moment, however, I realized that I;

a) Had to wake up around three this morning because I had to say goodbye to Mikee before he left for the bus at four.
b) Have to go out into the cold, snowy, icy world to go to the bus by no later than six A.M.


I hate winter, its so cold and deadlike...

However, once I get home and I am warm and snug and happy, I think I'll continue re-reading the Twilight series like I have been for a while. I'm on Eclipse. Upon re-reading this series, I realize that it....wasn't that epic. It was alright for a short spazz. Stephenie Meyer is a pretty good author, but I think she continued the wrong series.

I would pay all the money in the world to get a part II for The Host.

Kyle=Asshole, Jared=Asshole, Ian=Sex god.

I need a new series author.

Correction, I need to go out and buy a copy of Belladonna, becuase the only way I'm gonna break my StephMey addiction is to feed my AnneBish addiction.

+10 awesome points for combining first and last names of real people.

It is three o'clock in the morning, and I'm awake. This should not be, seeing as I have to wake up at seven thirty to meet the boyfriend for some good old fashioned relationshipping.

I need a car. Badly.

More than not, I've been realizing that procrastinating my life because I have no freaking idea what the heck I'm doing is not a good plan for the future. I don't think anyone really knows what they're doing, none the less at nineteen, so, I shouldn't really worry about making inappropreate mistakes now should I?

On a happier, less existential note, I am rolling around in Disney and loving every freaking minute of it. I have been reading curiousinsane over and over again, and it is causing my mind to have lovely disney overloads that, god willing, will turn into something productive and enjoyable for audiences far and wide.

If I had to steal someone, anyone in the world's talent, it would be bri_chan's artistic wonderment. I envy her, and all her disneyworlding self.

I've been listening to more and more musicals, and less and less normal people music, and I think it's starting to take a toll on me. The other day, I swear, I could hear background music to my thought process on the bus. That's just what I need, to hear music where others don't. On that note, however, I have been listening to the Across The Universe soundtrack, and Jim Sturgess (Jude) and Joe Anderson (Max) have the voices of a beautiful god men.

Joe Anderson is my new celebrity crush <3. It's strange, I don't usually go for blonds, but him be pretty. Anderson's "Hey Jude" is my favorite recording, save the Beatles themselves.

( Ehhhhh...Lets have some doodles behind the cut )